May 15, 2011
I remain confused as to why exactly spouses cheat. I remain even more confused as to why a person would cheat with another who is already in a relationship. I worked in a large club many years back. A man was sitting with his girlfriend or wife. He reached behind her while she was unaware to pinch my rear. Why? While working there, a sound person for a concert held there asked me on a date. I asked if he was already dating someone. He answered yes and I asked, "Why would I want to hurt her?" Sometime during this, an in-law made an extremely inappropriate pass at me. I felt shamed and bewildered by some truth of humans I didn't want to know. Years later, a person I looked up to admitted to countless times of infidelity after having been caught in a current one. Why?
Why do people turn to such selfishness? I have no room to hear excuses. I have no desire to hear about evolutionary psychology. I have no desire to believe that we are just animals. I simply do not have an understanding as to why people can so selfishly hurt another. Sure, that person may never find out, but is the gamble worth it? Why is it worth it? Aren't there better ways to go about life? Sure, we can't save each other's feelings all the time, but there is a right way and a wrong way. And it's pretty simple. Especially for those who would interfere with the life of other people who have never done anything to deserve such pain?
For example, I know of a man who entered into a program for a type of chemical recovery. A man in his 40s, he had a wife and children. His family still hurt from his chemical lifestyle, it is normal for these things to take time to heal. A young woman in her early 20s grew up with a father who left her mother for a young woman. She of all people should know the type of pain this can cause, yet the girl wanted security and I believe there are some who think that "beating" an entire family means they are worth something. I told her the family didn't need her meddling in their life while in crisis, but she didn't listen and seemed to take offense. She continued to pursue the man and he her. In the end, he left his family for this girl. They both held the belief that his happiness was important. Nevermind the wife and children. Why would these people be so selfish and mean? Really?
I'll never understand why people hurt each other in these ways. Shouldn't everything be tried before bedding down with another person? Something brought two people together to begin with. It isn't gone, it's just hiding in the muck. Shouldn't the muck be cleared before such action is taken? Doesn't everyone deserve such treatment? To all the cheaters, there isn't an actual valid or good excuse. Take a better road. Do the right thing to avoid doing the wrong thing. To just hurt someone like this is mean, mean, mean. Shame on all of you who do something like this. Shame on you all. I hope I never have to feel this sort of pain...I know that I will never cause it.
